Bethesda Military Hospital

So today was very eventful and exhausting; First we got up got everyone ready. Then we loaded up the kids and everything for a day out. We went to Bethesda military hospital for my husbands pre-op. As some of you know He got a vasectomy when we were pregnant with cameron. Well we got on the list for a Reversal in October 2011. There was a 18 month wait for something we were told the military did not cover or do. They bumped him up the 18 month wait because of our situation with having a still born child. It has been 6 months since his vasectomy and he gets his reversal on wednesday. So when we got there the base was VERY  confusing; we drove around trying to find the place (good thing we were 2 hrs early). We found it then went to the NEX (MCX for Marines ). walked around there for about 30 mins wasting time. then we got back in the car and thought we were headed back to the hospital well we ended up off base again in a not so good area and it was snowing so people forgot how to drive. We finally got back to the base and back to the building we needed after 15 mins driving around the parking garage finding a spot on the roof of the garage. We went to the building we thought it was in asked the information desk lady... and she thought we said NUEROLOGY and we kept telling her no UROLOGY! well she said it was in the next building about a block away so we turned around went outside walked as fast as we could to the other building only to walk around there and find out we were in the right place the first time so we ran back to the other building having 20 mins to get there and find the urology clinic. we finally found it and got seated and waited. when they called us there was a man sitting in the way and I couldn't get the stroller past him. so i had to ask him to move not 1 but 3 times before he got up. then we talked to the Dr. about the surgery and all. and its 95% OF THE time effective. its a very delicate surgery and I personally am very scared that it won't work but I'm trying to have faith in God that he will give us the gift he took and let us have a rainbow baby. Then after his appt we met up with friends at apple bees it was so nice they are the nicest people ever! and angel parents as well :) so thats so nice having people to talk to that understand what your going through. then we got back to my moms house and i had the girls help and we picked up and cleaned the bedrooms and got ready for bed now they are sleeping tomorrow is the last day we can do things then it'll be in the house for a few days then home to NC :) thanks for reading love you all :)

weekend

well today we got up got ready and went to the mall... I got my eyebrows waxed finally :) then stopped and got lunch and spent time with my mom and rex. we started to get the girls back into their routine. They have been super whiney lately and Im pretty sure its because they aren't on their schedule. well we started tonight it took an entire hr to get savanna down and a lil longer for madelyn. we are planning for madelyns birthday party here in MD the 14th but it doesn't look like its gonna really be a party hopefully at least my brother and his family can come. theres a lot going on here I can't believe my baby girl is going to be 2! it seems like we just got pregnant with her. This week coming up is going to be long we have to go a hour away tomorrow for hubbys pre op. then meeting up with another angel mommy :) and her hubby one of the best people i have met in a LOOOONG TIME.  the girls bedtime is 8-830 so hopefully were not to late at hubbys apt tomm kinda nervous and getting really nervous about his surgery and praying that it works please keep us in your prayers that it will work and we will be able to conceive and have a healthy baby again. well I think I am going to go to bed now :)
good night
god bless <3

thinking of my sweet cameron every moment I love you baby boy!

trip tires and stress

So yesterday we headed from Ohio well we had to fill up our back tires the  day before cuz they were low well we figured well its cold here so thats normal. WE were WRONG! the next morning we had to get air AGAIN..  this should not of happened in under 10 hrs from 11pm-7am we long a lot of air. to the point our PSI warning came on. so we filled up got about an hr away and the warning came on again.. so we filled up by this time I was stressing cuz we were traveling to MD and filling up every hr was not possible when driving through mountains. so we drove about 2 hrs with the warning on. I texted my mom and asked her what we could do she mentioned fix a flat..  so the first gas station that we came to we stoped hubs went in and found something like it that also puts air in your tires. after that it held for the trip. We were both very concerned our steering wheel was shaking horribly, and we just didnt know why. So we Got to my Step-dads house stayed there for 2-3 hrs went  out to the car and the PSI was from 38 to 20! just from sitting there so we used his air compressor and filled up and went to my moms house. We got there okay and tire pressure held but after we parked and the car sat for a hr the hubs went out to get something and checked it by that time it was okay it went from 38-30. then he checked it before we went to bed and it was 28 we figured it should hold till morning to where we can get new tires. Well we got up this morning around 8 he went out to the car and said babe call Rex we cant go anywhere PSI is at 3!!!  so my mom and Rex came to the resuce again!  brought the air compressor and put air in well we drove it to rexs then Rob and Rex went and took the van to honda around noon. to get new tires we knew we needed them but we didnt have the money we have "run-flats" on the van (not by choice just the model n yr of van). So thats about 250 a tire and 109 an hr for labor ! so all together 730-740 bucks for 2 new tires! stressed over money as it is living on a military budget paying for our sons headstone child support and having 2 young kids. we need new tires! they were so bad the gel that makes them run-flats was seeping through the tires. that has been our trip for the past 2 days so stressful and monday we drive an hr away for hubbys surgery consult

thanks for reading
<3 always

jan 4th/jan 5

The day was very uneventful. We played in the house and the girls n I took long naps till 530pm! while daddy played video games. Then we went to grandma belindas house and hung out there and then went to dinner with her at pizza hut we didn't go to bed till after midnight so like i said our day was very uneventful.
Today we are packing up doing laundry and getting ready for the trip back to maryland tomorrow :)
I can't wait to go visit my baby boys grave and put new flowers down things have been okay I have had my good and bad days I miss him so muh all the time the girls are talking to him more and more. I know he is with jesus it just isn't fair all these people hurt their babies and they keep their babies.  and yet people like me that want our babies and love them everyday from the day they are conceived get them taken away :(

jan 3 playing in the snow

so we took the big girls back to their Mom yesterday instead of today cuz it was snowing bad and they were calling up to 10-12 by their house n 8 by robs dad. Today we got up went to walmart cuz the girls needed snow boots and madelyn needed snow pants we got back to robs dads and got the girls ready and played in the snow for a while they had so much fun we have a huge snowball fight with them they made snow angels ate the snow its amazing watching them grow and smile everyday just having fun and learning while they play. We came inside to warm up and dry off. Madelyn fell asleep not to long after sitting down to snuggle with me. Savanna decided she was still hungry after lunch. So I made her a sandwhich banana and some trail mix ... then madelyn woke up I worked out then we went back to the store to pick up some things we forgot. that was pretty much our day now we are sitting here relaxing waiting for the girls to go to bed Oh and my wonderful hubby got me crochet stuff so I can learn to crochet :) i can't wait to start. Now off to put the girls down and then going to pack up our stuff while the diapers are in the washing

god bless everyone

2011

Okay so we had a very eventful 2011
First Madelyn turned the big 1 in january. savanna potty trained in january. we started to cloth diaper full time with madelyn. Madelyn had her second eye appt and her prescription hasn't changed and started wearing her glasses more. In March we found out the baby we were having was going to be a precious bouncing baby boy he was very active lil one in my belly. they girls were so excited that we were having a brother as well as us. we were in disbelief that we were finally having a boy. so we spent months preparing for a lil boy we sold all our girl stuff to buy boy stuff we had to get a new crib since the one we had had been recalled due to it being a dropside. we had a bump in our marriage this past yr. but that got resolved fast. and now we are happier than ever. My mom had major surgery and so we went to see her after. My cousin came and saw the girls around easter and we finally had our first easter as just a family.  then my final trimester of my pregnancy got super busy with appts for the baby appts trying to find out why i was passing out I had 2 sleep tests don't and never found out why. I had a baby shower in may thanks to a friend . I felt horrible no one came but one person.  then July came around i started having contractions every 5 mins on july 2nd we went to l &D 8 times before i had our angel . and they kept just sending us home. we celebrated our 2 yr ann july 10 ... then i was induced at 41 weeks with my still very active little boy. after 8 hrs of induction they broke my water but he still wouldn't drop. he went into distress and died on the way to the or for an emergency csection. so instead of bringing our handsome lil chunky baby boy  home we were sending him for a autopsy and then to the funeral home. and planning for a funeral back home. august 6 we buried our beautifully baby boy. also 2 days prior to cameron dieing we lost robs grandmother. our entire family was under so much grief no one knew what to do after losing 2 very important people. within 2 days. then on savannas birthday (aug 13th) we moved back on base into new housing. and savanna started preschool 2 days a week for 3 hrs a day she abs loves going to school  are still to this day trying to figure out how to be normal again. we live with cameron in our daily lives. september we made another trip to MD for madelyns eye appt and decorated camerons grave. then we went back to NC. In october we had a balloon release for infant and pregnancy loss day. it was so beautiful. we made the decision to try for a nother boy so rob is getting "unfixed" soon. even if we have a girl we will be happy as long as the baby is healthy and ALIVE BUT we are hoping for a boy. we celebrated thanksgiving with our amazing new neighbors then we came on leave for the holidays so we could see my brother in law before he ships out for deployment.  and  that brings up to the new yr we did a balloon release on NYE for camerons 5 months with all 4 kids and rob n I.

god bless and thank you for reading

amie

visiting family

So we are currently on leave. We went to Maryland from dec 23rd-dec 27 spent christmas with my mom and then my dads side. We went to visit sweet camerons grave on christmas. We should not have to be visiting a grave of our child that should of been 4.5 months old. The girls got so much stuff they absolutely love. They surprised me how well behaved they were and how thankful they were with everything they got. We traveled to Ohio on dec 27 we put a flip trainer on Savanna and she stayed DRY! we stopped about 3.5 hrs after we started driving and she went to the potty and then continues the last 3 ish hours and she was still dry and she drank a ton! she has been dry this whole time we have been up here. only had one tiny accident in her sleep and woke up ! We picked up Rebecca n Mackenzie (robs other daughters) on the 29th and have them till the 3rd they are all loving being together. we got pictures done with all the kids cameron bear and our niece n nephew from robs brother brandon. we took the girls to see all their family and great great grandma. we let balloons go for cameron on NYE it was so nice to have all our kids here with us to do his 5 months release we still can not believe he's been gone 5 whole months. every day we think n miss him it just doesn't seem real. I get to meet in person an amazing person that has helped us with pictures and been there for us thru camerons death and so on. then we will be heading to MD for my husbands surgery I'm so scared for it . Please pray that it works and we can have more kids soon. I am starting on my weight loss journey now and trying to get these 100 lbs i gained having kids off. that is all for right now