busy life pregnancy kids

so I havent been able to write for a while just been so busy with life.. i feel like i live at the doctors . between OB appts and kids appts. so we will start with the kids .. Savanna just had her 4 year well visit she got 4 shots and a finger prick to check her iron. All the shots were boosters from her 1 year shots. she did great with everything she  finally broke the 30 lb mark and now is 32 lbs 3 feet 3 inch her speech is right on schedule for a 4 yr old.  shes finally back at school after being sick and then going on leave to md had 5 bday partys this year.
Madelyn is doing well she was fully potty trained before we went on leave but has regressed some and thats okay. she will get back on track shes getting there now. she is around 30 lbs and 3 ft ... she is so eager to go to school with sister savanna :) ... so come december we willl register her and they will be in the same class...

so that comes to me and the pregnancy I am doing well i have gained 15 lbs already im 28 wks along so thats not to bad. I seem to be all baby again which is good hopefully ill lose all my baby weight and some after baby come. we have been buying things lil by lil at a time...  we have had a dresser since we got before i found out i was prego we bought a changing table and a rock and play sleeper a bath tub and a highchair all for under $80! i wish we would of kept stuff from savanna like the tub high chair her crib n changing table were recalled when maddie was 8 months so we had to get rid of those. we bought the carseat its cute its orange and grey. a chicco keyfit 30. at my 20 week scan baby was doing well  and everything looked perfect:).. the girls are so excited for baby to come  they are going to help paint the clouds on babys wall :) we are making the nursery like a outside them blue walls with green on the bottom for grass rainbows trees clouds and trying to find nature decals. hubby has painted 2 walls will paint the small 2 this weekend and then the last 2 next weekend after we get more paint. so by october i can start organizing things. this weekend is a 3 day weekend for hubby so hell have from today after work off till tuesday then hell work tuesday wed thrus and have friday-monday off  so we are hoping to get things done painting wise this weekend he is also going to prime the front room we are going to set up a temp nursery there so when we are downstairs the baby can have somewhere to be  safe when im doing stuff so the girls cant bother the baby.  im hoping to get a good used crib for 30$ if its in good working condition. I go back to my OB sept 4 then i will be going weekly again. baby kicks alot so i know they are okay. which is a huge relief. im scared of having another section. but im more scared of losing another baby. or that i will go into labor on my own that scares me. since i only trust 1 dr doing my section i want to make it to my c section date which hopefully soon i will have :) well i think thats it for now i need to search for nursing shirts and stuff to make my c /s easy recovery :)

the last 3 months

well first off lets start with the girls Savanna has learned to ride her bike all on her own.she now knows how to get her helmet and put it on correctly and get on her bike and just ride without us holding on to it :). She is getting so big! ... She is doing so well in school and still loves going she can't wait for school to come. 


Madelyn- she got fully potty trained in a week so we didn't have any diapers for 3 wks at all  then she regressed but we are getting there... she can now count to 15..  she does so well wearing her glasses now I'm so proud and sad that my baby isn't a baby anymore. she loves to just be outside playing .... 


brings us to us... we have decided to down size since we are probably moving back home in the next yr or two. and we moved the girls in the same room since they like it better that way. we have been busy with drs apts and such hubby got hurt a few weeks ago doing his PFT he twisted his knee and injured in ACL.  SO everything has been on me and I'm so emotional right now with camerons first angelversary/ birthday coming up and everyone inviting us to their kids first birthdays and we just can't handle going to birthdays right now its just to hard on us emotionally. I can't believe he has been gone for 10 months and the pain is still the same as it was when it happened it not worse i see everyones kids growing up and hitting all the milestones and knowing I will never experience that . i love him and miss him every day my heart breaks all over again every day when i think of what should of been and how the girls talk about him and ask why he died and their friends babies didn't die. 




on a good note my husbands vasectomy reversal worked and we got pregnant in February! so we are due around thanksgiving there are so many emotions with this pregnancy. we are thrilled and scared just trying to get day by day. My ob has been our rock through all of this and has really helped us whenever we need and is taken full care of my pregnancy to ensure it ends with us having a healthy baby at the end. We have decided not to find out the Sex of the baby so it could be a surprise we are not sure if this wil be our last or not. well i think thats all for now :) 

spring is coming

so its been almost two weeks since I have been on here. we have been really busy lately... this weekend we re arranged the whole house i like it a lot better now. Hubby and I really need to get a King size bed cuz co-sleeping in a queen just isn't working well... but that will wait till we have money... we cleaned the girls rooms and shampooed savannas bed and floor... and went through stuff and are selling it.. we do not use anymore. we have been spending all the nice 70 degree days outside playing and this week we learn about dinosaurs! last week we learned about birds and made bird feeders they loved it !!

savanna- she has grown so unbelievably much these past 2 weeks she now doesn't use a potty ring at all anymore... she says mommy I'm a big girl i don't need a potty ring those are for babies. her speech is improving tremendously!  she helps put her clothes away and puts them in the baskets when she take them off she loves to help me clean windows and floors :).. she also LOVES to pick and tease her sister!!!  they play well together till one of them starts teasing the other and taking things away. 

madelyn- she has been using the potty a lot and this week we are going to really try the potty training she abs HATES  to be in diapers and as soon as one drop gets on her pull-up /diaper she freaks out! she freaks if anything is out of place or if there are flower petals on the ground its cute ebut frustrating. she is finally not biting AS MUCH as she was before ... and she's talking more and more.. she tells us more jue ( more drink) its cute cuz thats what savanna use to say to . and she says pee pee when she's going pee or thinks she needs to so now we can go and put her on the potty. she has also figured how to open the fridge and get the juice n milk out so were now had to buy a lock till she learns not to weve been teaching her that she can't ...   but she's only 2  my mom bought her a dresser so she could have her own finally and i can't thank her enough... 



us- well we have been really good... trying not to stress on if his surgery worked we won't know for another 2 weeks... my depression has really set in bad... some days and others I'm okay.. i really miss my son more than every he should almost be 7 months and I'm okay with newborns but not 7 month olds so my friends kids i just don't see them as that. I'm really lonely here while hubby is at work .. it stinks but i have my girls I'm hoping i can get these next few lbs off and keep them off soon... we start working out together today... we are buying a dresser and kids picnic table this week from our neighbors... now we are looking for a sand/water table slides... and othe outside toys :) for the girls we plan to be outside a lot this spring and summer we need to start looking for a lawnmower. also we are going to start our own gardens we are going to get the girls a green house and let them grow some stuff :) i know they will love it they love watching things grow..  we are still financially strapped but things are getting paid on time at least :) well that is all for now I'm going to get up and start getting ready :) 

bedroom decorating crafting

So savanna decided she wanted a Dora room instead of a Tinkerbelle room luckily the green still goes :) .. and she already had Dora sheets so that part was already done ... we got some wall appliqués and put them on her walls tonight she's in love :) then next month we are going to get her some wall art and some other things for it :)..... we put the yellow curtains up that we were given by my aunt and they match perfect along with the lamp shade she gave us is yellow with pink green and blue on it i believe. and then well have the comforter in her room too this weekend :)..

 Oh coarse this all started when we were trying to figure out what to do with madelyns room and IF we have another baby we want the girls rooms to look nice and we want them to enjoy their rooms we found a cute bed set and she can keep the sheets she has and we will get her the comforter , curtains, rug, and find some wall art for her too.. we are going to paint her walls this weekend :) it should be fun I love doing things for them :) and she's pretty excited about it already :) as well as we are going to well my hubby is going to finish building the girls doll beds and ill paint them :) ... then the next project will be doll highchairs ... so excited for my girls and can't wati to have all these built they LOVE their stools :) 

    we also started Homeschooling stuff too.. everyday the girls and I sit down well m-f ... and go over colors numbers abc words addition reading stories savanna and I are working on recognizing letters and sounding out words :D she is doing well and LOVES to learn and do art work.. tomorrow we are doing the letter A and color Red which was for this week. and I started making even more neat things i have found to try and keep things more neat... I have to make time for myself everyday so i don't get overwhelmed I am also hoping that this weekend I will have time to start on camerons scrapbook that we bought him... I'm debating if I want to do it of just sell it and keep his precious pictures in a album... that we can add to for a while. either way I need to work on madelyns as well and savannas Im a lil behind and I would like to make some wipes and some small blankets this weekend as well so many projects I would one to do .. and trying to figure out easy crockpot healthy meals is kinda hard but il get it I'm going to go buy chicken tomm and probably make some chicken stew this weekend :) well thats all for now I'm going to bed as always I love you so much cameron you are the shining star that twinkles at us 

valentines day

It actually went well... the girls loved their gifts! after we took savanna to school madelyn and me had a little outting we went to the Dollar tree and to Walmart to get them valentines day stuff... and balloons.  Then we came home and put it all together and then it was time to go pick up savanna from school and go get daddy from work. we did that savanna had tons of cute valentines from all her friends at school and made a big heart for me... she loves school so much :) ...  We came home and they opened their gifts from us they loved them :)  them madelyn broke savannas globe...  so we have to buy her a new one... then we went to ruby tuesday for dinner then went to walmart to get there girls some more learning stuff :)

 the daycare where savanna goes to school is saying she HAS  to get a flu shot and she can't cuz she gets hives from the shot and tamiflu ( the meds they give u to help beat the flu )  so now i have a month to get the paperwork to get it waived and hope they take it well they will or she won't be going anymore...

we also got cameron a lil monkey for his first valentines day in heaven i hope he knows how much he is loved and missed

2-13-2012

I can't believe its  been 6.5 months since we lost our sweet cameron. Everyone that was pregnant with me is starting to plan first birthday parties for their baby while I'm backtracking on why i lost my baby  and trying to grieve. We still haven't even come close to paying off his headstone and some people think that we should of already done so... but how can when we have bills that have to be paid I'm not saying his headstone isn't important CUZ ITS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS EVER FOR US. but when our LIVING  children need something or we need food on the table i have to put those things first all my kids come before we do anything fun. I have been told to put the money we would of spent monthly on having a baby here on his stone a month now what money are you referring to? Diapers we use cloth already bought for our last child... formula.... I would be breast feeding .. wipes we use cloth wipes .... clothes i bought enough to last the first 18 months of his life.. and bout most from the yardsale sight so we didn't have to spend money on just him... we spend around 150 every 2 weeks on groceries we are on wic... after our bills the ones we pay to live we have 200 for 2 wks  thats 1 tank of gas and 2 wks of groceries so i would love to know how we can "pay the money we would on him "...  YES we got life insurance BUT THAT COVERED THE FUNERAL AND TRAVEL expenses unless you personally have seen what bills we have and how we live and BTW WE LIVE BELOW OUR MEANS!!!! we use cloth everything but toilet paper! most of our kids "expensive toys" were bought second hand... we build everything we can like we just built 2 steps tools for their bathrooms.... now were building beds for their dolls which only costing 10 bucks to build 1 set of beds for their dolls vs the 30 for store bought... we are BUILDING THEM A PLAYHOUSE COSTING 40$ TOPS and we have CHILD SUPPORT TO PAY and i don't care about that! his other 2 children are very important to us!  i have to pay copays and stuff for my medical and have been having tons of problems health wise...  but that was coming last and now i have to put myself on the same level as my kids or I won't be here with them.
WE HAVE  regrets about how we handled  camerons untimely death... we wish we would of had him cremated for a few reasons. reason 1 it was a lot cheaper...  Reason 2 the most important we wouldn't of had to bury him away from us  he would be in a urn and right here in our home. and reason 3 we wouldn't have to worry about a headstone.  theres nothing we can do now. i just wish he wasn't in the cold ground.


savanna and madelyn - they were both sick yesterday with fevers ect.  but madelyn is 100% better today and savanna broke her fever but is still sleeping.


and don't get me wrong we make it and are beginning to do a cash system and couponing more so we spend less on food we just lost wic from me that we used! thats 10 $ of Fruits/vegs and 5.5 gallons of milk that we no longer get.  we eat  ALOT healthier now and eat all fresh stuff.. I'm trying to lose weight and its becoming harder and harder with all this stress and people putting me down ect

Busy lives !

things have been hectic trying to get everything under control around here. We moved My dresser to the Savannas room for both the girls clothes. so Now i have my 2 drawer end table and thats it ; which is fine for me seeing how i don't have many clothes .. lol I went through my clothes and got rid of all the things to big and to small. which made  me feel good getting rid of things that made me depressed.. either that I've gotten that big and that i can't fit in that anymore. but I have had 3 kids in 3 yrs.  I started a knew program 30 days and trying to learn to eat better.

      Savanna has started back at school and she LOVES it she can't wait to go. This week she gets an extra day/night at school Rob and I are going to a class called love language. A free class offered on base with free dinner and childcare :) .... what could be better today is our 5 yr anniversary!....  we are doing pretty good have had our ups and downs but we pull through we both miss cameron a lot and so do the girls Our friends just had a baby boy and savanna keeps asking why her brother went to jesus and theirs didn't I don't know how to answer that!... it breaks my heart more seeing them hurting. i wish we could go back in time and he would be here. our girls are getting so big and learning so much savanna is very interested in Jesus and God now she loves reading stories about them. I am so happy she loves Jesus specially after knowing that her brother went to be with him. I know one day madelyn will too :)  we have started our own art .school days here at home as well... this week we are doing A and the number 1 and valentines day arts n crafts Monday the made hands and I wrote everything they love.... today we are going to make hand flowers. and friday we are doing Heart wreaths :) the girls absolutely LOVE doing art 

 Rob has started online school and should have his bachelors degree by dec 2014 and I start hopefully in march! taking 2 online classes through the comm college here and getting my Rn to BSN then applying for Med school. 

We are finally on the right track financially... we are getting rid of 2 bills ( 2 credit cards  for that matter ) catching up on two loans and paying bills with our tax refund we got TODAY! We still have a lot to take care of and get rid of but we are on the right track.. which makes me happy Our goal is to be out of debt by the end of the year one bill at a time and to pay off camerons headstone so we can have it made and placed by his 2nd birthday.


me- I finally got to the drs and have to be seen  by a ent my ears are so clogged the dr couldn't even see my ear drum which would explain my balance issues LOL.... also i had my thyroid checked to see if its messed up and thats why I'm having issues losing weight

well I guess thats it for now will post pics later 

much love