spring is coming

so its been almost two weeks since I have been on here. we have been really busy lately... this weekend we re arranged the whole house i like it a lot better now. Hubby and I really need to get a King size bed cuz co-sleeping in a queen just isn't working well... but that will wait till we have money... we cleaned the girls rooms and shampooed savannas bed and floor... and went through stuff and are selling it.. we do not use anymore. we have been spending all the nice 70 degree days outside playing and this week we learn about dinosaurs! last week we learned about birds and made bird feeders they loved it !!

savanna- she has grown so unbelievably much these past 2 weeks she now doesn't use a potty ring at all anymore... she says mommy I'm a big girl i don't need a potty ring those are for babies. her speech is improving tremendously!  she helps put her clothes away and puts them in the baskets when she take them off she loves to help me clean windows and floors :).. she also LOVES to pick and tease her sister!!!  they play well together till one of them starts teasing the other and taking things away. 

madelyn- she has been using the potty a lot and this week we are going to really try the potty training she abs HATES  to be in diapers and as soon as one drop gets on her pull-up /diaper she freaks out! she freaks if anything is out of place or if there are flower petals on the ground its cute ebut frustrating. she is finally not biting AS MUCH as she was before ... and she's talking more and more.. she tells us more jue ( more drink) its cute cuz thats what savanna use to say to . and she says pee pee when she's going pee or thinks she needs to so now we can go and put her on the potty. she has also figured how to open the fridge and get the juice n milk out so were now had to buy a lock till she learns not to weve been teaching her that she can't ...   but she's only 2  my mom bought her a dresser so she could have her own finally and i can't thank her enough... 



us- well we have been really good... trying not to stress on if his surgery worked we won't know for another 2 weeks... my depression has really set in bad... some days and others I'm okay.. i really miss my son more than every he should almost be 7 months and I'm okay with newborns but not 7 month olds so my friends kids i just don't see them as that. I'm really lonely here while hubby is at work .. it stinks but i have my girls I'm hoping i can get these next few lbs off and keep them off soon... we start working out together today... we are buying a dresser and kids picnic table this week from our neighbors... now we are looking for a sand/water table slides... and othe outside toys :) for the girls we plan to be outside a lot this spring and summer we need to start looking for a lawnmower. also we are going to start our own gardens we are going to get the girls a green house and let them grow some stuff :) i know they will love it they love watching things grow..  we are still financially strapped but things are getting paid on time at least :) well that is all for now I'm going to get up and start getting ready :) 

bedroom decorating crafting

So savanna decided she wanted a Dora room instead of a Tinkerbelle room luckily the green still goes :) .. and she already had Dora sheets so that part was already done ... we got some wall appliqués and put them on her walls tonight she's in love :) then next month we are going to get her some wall art and some other things for it :)..... we put the yellow curtains up that we were given by my aunt and they match perfect along with the lamp shade she gave us is yellow with pink green and blue on it i believe. and then well have the comforter in her room too this weekend :)..

 Oh coarse this all started when we were trying to figure out what to do with madelyns room and IF we have another baby we want the girls rooms to look nice and we want them to enjoy their rooms we found a cute bed set and she can keep the sheets she has and we will get her the comforter , curtains, rug, and find some wall art for her too.. we are going to paint her walls this weekend :) it should be fun I love doing things for them :) and she's pretty excited about it already :) as well as we are going to well my hubby is going to finish building the girls doll beds and ill paint them :) ... then the next project will be doll highchairs ... so excited for my girls and can't wati to have all these built they LOVE their stools :) 

    we also started Homeschooling stuff too.. everyday the girls and I sit down well m-f ... and go over colors numbers abc words addition reading stories savanna and I are working on recognizing letters and sounding out words :D she is doing well and LOVES to learn and do art work.. tomorrow we are doing the letter A and color Red which was for this week. and I started making even more neat things i have found to try and keep things more neat... I have to make time for myself everyday so i don't get overwhelmed I am also hoping that this weekend I will have time to start on camerons scrapbook that we bought him... I'm debating if I want to do it of just sell it and keep his precious pictures in a album... that we can add to for a while. either way I need to work on madelyns as well and savannas Im a lil behind and I would like to make some wipes and some small blankets this weekend as well so many projects I would one to do .. and trying to figure out easy crockpot healthy meals is kinda hard but il get it I'm going to go buy chicken tomm and probably make some chicken stew this weekend :) well thats all for now I'm going to bed as always I love you so much cameron you are the shining star that twinkles at us 

valentines day

It actually went well... the girls loved their gifts! after we took savanna to school madelyn and me had a little outting we went to the Dollar tree and to Walmart to get them valentines day stuff... and balloons.  Then we came home and put it all together and then it was time to go pick up savanna from school and go get daddy from work. we did that savanna had tons of cute valentines from all her friends at school and made a big heart for me... she loves school so much :) ...  We came home and they opened their gifts from us they loved them :)  them madelyn broke savannas globe...  so we have to buy her a new one... then we went to ruby tuesday for dinner then went to walmart to get there girls some more learning stuff :)

 the daycare where savanna goes to school is saying she HAS  to get a flu shot and she can't cuz she gets hives from the shot and tamiflu ( the meds they give u to help beat the flu )  so now i have a month to get the paperwork to get it waived and hope they take it well they will or she won't be going anymore...

we also got cameron a lil monkey for his first valentines day in heaven i hope he knows how much he is loved and missed

2-13-2012

I can't believe its  been 6.5 months since we lost our sweet cameron. Everyone that was pregnant with me is starting to plan first birthday parties for their baby while I'm backtracking on why i lost my baby  and trying to grieve. We still haven't even come close to paying off his headstone and some people think that we should of already done so... but how can when we have bills that have to be paid I'm not saying his headstone isn't important CUZ ITS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS EVER FOR US. but when our LIVING  children need something or we need food on the table i have to put those things first all my kids come before we do anything fun. I have been told to put the money we would of spent monthly on having a baby here on his stone a month now what money are you referring to? Diapers we use cloth already bought for our last child... formula.... I would be breast feeding .. wipes we use cloth wipes .... clothes i bought enough to last the first 18 months of his life.. and bout most from the yardsale sight so we didn't have to spend money on just him... we spend around 150 every 2 weeks on groceries we are on wic... after our bills the ones we pay to live we have 200 for 2 wks  thats 1 tank of gas and 2 wks of groceries so i would love to know how we can "pay the money we would on him "...  YES we got life insurance BUT THAT COVERED THE FUNERAL AND TRAVEL expenses unless you personally have seen what bills we have and how we live and BTW WE LIVE BELOW OUR MEANS!!!! we use cloth everything but toilet paper! most of our kids "expensive toys" were bought second hand... we build everything we can like we just built 2 steps tools for their bathrooms.... now were building beds for their dolls which only costing 10 bucks to build 1 set of beds for their dolls vs the 30 for store bought... we are BUILDING THEM A PLAYHOUSE COSTING 40$ TOPS and we have CHILD SUPPORT TO PAY and i don't care about that! his other 2 children are very important to us!  i have to pay copays and stuff for my medical and have been having tons of problems health wise...  but that was coming last and now i have to put myself on the same level as my kids or I won't be here with them.
WE HAVE  regrets about how we handled  camerons untimely death... we wish we would of had him cremated for a few reasons. reason 1 it was a lot cheaper...  Reason 2 the most important we wouldn't of had to bury him away from us  he would be in a urn and right here in our home. and reason 3 we wouldn't have to worry about a headstone.  theres nothing we can do now. i just wish he wasn't in the cold ground.


savanna and madelyn - they were both sick yesterday with fevers ect.  but madelyn is 100% better today and savanna broke her fever but is still sleeping.


and don't get me wrong we make it and are beginning to do a cash system and couponing more so we spend less on food we just lost wic from me that we used! thats 10 $ of Fruits/vegs and 5.5 gallons of milk that we no longer get.  we eat  ALOT healthier now and eat all fresh stuff.. I'm trying to lose weight and its becoming harder and harder with all this stress and people putting me down ect

Busy lives !

things have been hectic trying to get everything under control around here. We moved My dresser to the Savannas room for both the girls clothes. so Now i have my 2 drawer end table and thats it ; which is fine for me seeing how i don't have many clothes .. lol I went through my clothes and got rid of all the things to big and to small. which made  me feel good getting rid of things that made me depressed.. either that I've gotten that big and that i can't fit in that anymore. but I have had 3 kids in 3 yrs.  I started a knew program 30 days and trying to learn to eat better.

      Savanna has started back at school and she LOVES it she can't wait to go. This week she gets an extra day/night at school Rob and I are going to a class called love language. A free class offered on base with free dinner and childcare :) .... what could be better today is our 5 yr anniversary!....  we are doing pretty good have had our ups and downs but we pull through we both miss cameron a lot and so do the girls Our friends just had a baby boy and savanna keeps asking why her brother went to jesus and theirs didn't I don't know how to answer that!... it breaks my heart more seeing them hurting. i wish we could go back in time and he would be here. our girls are getting so big and learning so much savanna is very interested in Jesus and God now she loves reading stories about them. I am so happy she loves Jesus specially after knowing that her brother went to be with him. I know one day madelyn will too :)  we have started our own art .school days here at home as well... this week we are doing A and the number 1 and valentines day arts n crafts Monday the made hands and I wrote everything they love.... today we are going to make hand flowers. and friday we are doing Heart wreaths :) the girls absolutely LOVE doing art 

 Rob has started online school and should have his bachelors degree by dec 2014 and I start hopefully in march! taking 2 online classes through the comm college here and getting my Rn to BSN then applying for Med school. 

We are finally on the right track financially... we are getting rid of 2 bills ( 2 credit cards  for that matter ) catching up on two loans and paying bills with our tax refund we got TODAY! We still have a lot to take care of and get rid of but we are on the right track.. which makes me happy Our goal is to be out of debt by the end of the year one bill at a time and to pay off camerons headstone so we can have it made and placed by his 2nd birthday.


me- I finally got to the drs and have to be seen  by a ent my ears are so clogged the dr couldn't even see my ear drum which would explain my balance issues LOL.... also i had my thyroid checked to see if its messed up and thats why I'm having issues losing weight

well I guess thats it for now will post pics later 

much love 

Doctors appointments and babies

well we will start off with Madelyn since it was her 2 yr visit I can't believe my baby is 2! She is a very healthy 34 inch 27.8 lb toddler speaking up a storm climbing painting. She is growing up so fast she is learning things daily the doctor is very pleased with how she has grown she was a 5 lb 11.9 oz baby girl when she was born. and they were all worried about her. while she was a baby she always had to get weight checks cuz she was so tiny when they weighted her today they were surprised she has caught up to her big sister. :) they said she looked perfect and was healthy. she had to get 1 shot yesterday so it wasn't bad then had to get her finger pricked for iron levels for wic. she did pretty well got 2 lollypops and a sticker. :)  She wasn't even cranky after her shot :)

savanna  we went in because some of you know she's a toe walker well the dr checked all her tendons out and she has full range so its more preference; and we just have to work on her walking flat footed. then she had to get her finger pricked to.. she was such  a big girl sat all alone in the big chair and when gave the guy her hand to prick and didn't cry. ( very proud moment my 3 yr old didn't cry during getting poked! all she said was Ouch they put a bandaid on her and we were on our way home :)


they played zoo well together yesterday was beautiful and we played outside a lot :) they painted made flowers out of tp rolls :)


then for the babies part my 2 neighbors here both had lil boys the one connected to me just had hers on camerons 6 months...  and the one on the other side of her just had hers yesterday ... makes me miss cameron more n more but I am so happy for them both :) and am so happy that their babies are safe ... they are two beautiful lil boys and I will probably meet them both today :D


 and finally MADELYN JUST PEED ON THE POTTY FOR THE FIRST TIME :)